Monday, September 27, 2010

OSHA's Now Officially on Moogie's Hit List

The bleepin' beepin' buses have returned.  And, this time they have an all-new and even more annoying routine.

Don't get me wrong -- I'm a big fan of child safety.  Even big-child safety.  I put my girls on school buses for years, so I appreciate the need for school-bus safety procedures and the importance of not running over school children inadvertently.  (I'll admit that I watched apprehensively at times as the buses sped off or screeched to a halt, but onto those buses they went anyway!).  But this bus situation is getting to be just a little ridiculous.

On their morning run (which seems to begin at 0-dark-thirty minus 1), the buses vroom down the side street right past our bedroom windows, squeal to a stop at the stop sign, roar across the busy thoroughfare, and drop off the students safely past the schoolyard fence opening previously reserved for vehicles one block over.  There's really no big problem there, except for the squealing and vrooming parts.

Then, they circle the block and come roaring back down our sidestreet heading back toward the schoolyard where they park until field trips or the afternoon runs.  They park in the schoolyard.  Facing out, ready to go.

And, all this maneuvering requires lots and lots of beeping in reverse, courtesy of OSHA.

First, they usually have to reverse to make the turn onto the sidestreet because faculty and staff who previously parked in the schoolyard have been displaced and now battle each other over open spots on the sidestreets and wind up parking, illegally, too close to the intersections, causing the buses to have to do three- or four-point turns to get properly aimed to vroom down the street without wiping out a number of faculty or staff vehicles.  Beep!  Beep!  Beep!  Beep!  Vroom!  Squeal.  Vroom.

Then, once they have vroomed across the busy thoroughfare again, they have to do more three- or four- point reverses to back into the schoolyard.  This move produces endless interludes of beep-fests.

Sometimes one or two buses have to jimmy around to make room for another bus, so they just leave the freakin' machines in reverse -- beeping all the while -- until they know for sure whether they'll have to re-position.  BEEP!  BEEP!  BEEPITY, BLEEPIN' BEEP!!!   Put it in neutral, for cryin' out loud!!!

This goes on for several hours in the morning because Sophie Wright is a charter "academy" that, as of this year, houses students in 5th through 12th grades. 

They arrive in shifts.  All morning.

Have I ever mentioned that Moogie is not a morning person?

The whole shebang starts over for the afternoon runs, minus one round of beeping because the students are already at the school.  But, there is this new factor -- Sophie Wright now has high school football!  And basketball!  And girls' volleyball!  And they all practice and have games (elsewhere) fairly late!

So, several nights a week we are treated to the enter-the-schoolyard-for-overnight-parking maneuvers at 8:00 or 9:00, sometimes 10:00 or later!

Have I ever mentioned that Pepper is not a night owl?

I'm trying.  I'm really trying to be a good neighbor, but sheesh!  I could use a good dose of patience -- and I want it right now!!!


  1. Heh. Forgive me, coz I appreciate how annoying this has to be. But reading this made me grin from ear to ear. Know this, tho: I'm laughing wit ya... or wit yer narrative... not ATCHA.

    One word, or perhaps two: wire cutters. Dead o' night. Stealthily. Or mebbe sub-contract the dirty deed.

  2. I'm sorry that Moogie is not amused. I feel your pain, really I do. But that is funny, dammit. (SNORT - as my cocktail blows out of my nose).

    Exactly why Scott's place is waythehelloutintheboonies™.

  3. Yeah, guys. I have to laugh or I'd be puncturing tires.

    Or sub-contracting some sort of devilment.

    I live in an interesting place.

  4. Hey Moogie, this ain't the same kinda beep beep...

    But, it might bring back a decent memory of that annoying sound.

  5. Oh, Andy! I just love that old song! And the graphics are too cute. Thanks for the grin.