Thursday, July 22, 2010

USDA: New Mission Accomplished

I'm home after an unexpectedly extended trip to Arkansas. One of the things that really sucks about attaining one's fifties is that the parents of one's friends start to die in earnest. It really sucks and makes me sad.

Then, there's this -- it sucks and makes me mad.

I think there's a grossly larger number and variety of weeds in the yard this year than ever before. I spend waaaaay too much time in the heat pulling weeds that weren't there last year or the year before. They just sprout overnight, then they taunt and mock me when I take the dogs out in the morning. I spent way too much time pulling weeds at Younger Daughter's house over the weekend, too, so it seems to be an epidemic problem.

I blame excessive weedage on the United States Department of Agriculture and its new mission to distract us from whatever it is that the Young President and his minions want us distracted from. They've sown a massive amount of weed seeds to keep us occupied. That has to be the reason for so many weeds, doesn't it?

The plot is rolling out, but strikes familiar notes. We've moved past the "wise Latina" with a "richness of . . . experiences" (who now adorns the Supreme Court bench and casts votes counter to what she intimated to Congress during confirmation hearings) and moved on to the woman with roots in poverty and a "unique set of experiences" (although she has one of the most boring, unmodulated voices I've ever heard, bless her heart).

We've moved from the "teachable moment" of Professor Gates and the Cops to the "teachable moment" description by Press Secretary Bobby Gibbs of Agriculture Secretary Tom Vilsack's Forced-Resignation-Gate.

As many have noted, there appears to be a lot of teaching going on out there and not a whole heckuva lot of learning. Except for this: I've learned that the government takes rather elaborate steps to distract the voters, and now we can't trust anything they do for fear we're being distracted from something big.

Paranoia: sometimes they really are out to get you. The weeds are proof.


  1. I'm sorry to say, your paranoia is not unfounded. The only conclusions one can draw from the regime's policies is that they are out to destroy the country.

    As for the weeds. I actually have fewer this year than in years past. I use grass clippings to mulch the vegetable garden and after 5 years, I almost have enough to cover all the soil.

    Good luck with your vegetative interlopers.

  2. Thanks, Kristin. Between Bouie and the USDA, my plants don't stand much chance!

  3. Your official taxpayer-funded Magic Obama Unicorn is supposed to graze your yard and eat all of the weeds. Maybe your unicorn is defective or something.

  4. Moogie, I know of what you speak. And, I'm with Kristin and is not paranoia.

    I will admit that back during the George Bush (Papa) years, I became quite paranoid...then it intensified during your former Goober's years on Pennsylvania Ave.

    Dubya in some ways put me at ease...but not so much really. But, this character we've got posing in the Office currently just scares the living dookie out of me. Seriously.

    I always try to remain optimistic. But, my reservoir of it is running pretty low these days.

    As to the weeds...Ain't it the truth? Moogie, Pam and I can not remember a Summer that we have had to pull so many weeds (like new stuff we've never seen before), or vines (seriously, I've never seen so many vines around here), or had so much poison ivy appear EVERYWHERE around our place.

    Funny thing is, the vegetable garden has almost ZERO weeds. We mulched with straw this Spring. Works wonders...kinda like what Kristin was talking about up there in comment #1.

  5. One more thing...that picture you posted of your potted plants...

    It could have been taken on my side patio. In fact, I thought you had come to my place and snapped some shots.

    Same thing...miserable junk in all the pots.

  6. Well, everything that can be said HAS said about the weeds. And about The One, too.

    On a more serious note... I'm sorry about your friend's parent (and I hope that isn't parentS, plural). But it gets worse as you get older because then it's your friends who begin to die, not their parents. I'm not trying to diminish the parents' deaths, but it gets real close to home when your buddies start cashing it in. Buckle up.

  7. Yeah -- I got the defective unicorn, Inno. I think he must be teamed up with Bouie on the destruction end of yard agronomy.

    Andy -- I wish I had used straw, or even store-bought mulch. It's too dang hot to put in out now, especially with a tropical storm headed htis way. At least that should cool us off a bit. It's just a shame it didn't wait until the First Family is having a little vacay on the Coast.

    Buck -- Yep. Having to bid farewell more and more often. Lately there seems to be an epidemic of friends' parents and friends' children. It's the children that really get me -- 2 in 3 months, both in teir 20s. This latest parent was in the singular -- his dad, a month after his younger daughter got married; my friend (JB's husband) lost his mom 4 years ago, 2 months before he lost JB, and shortly after his older daughter got married. We've decided we're glad he has no more children to get married.