Friday, October 15, 2010

Farewell to Colonel Reb, Hello Sissy Bear

Poor Ole Miss.  It looks as if they have taken leave of their collective senses.  I knew it would happen as soon as I learned they were conducting a "study" and an "election" to replace the venerable "Colonel Reb" mascot -- the very embodiment of landed, Southern gentry who were capable both of great gentility and defending their own.  Too many people apparently made a strained connection among the Colonel, Segregation, and Slavery.

So, PC finally won, but in the process, it has raised a couple of unintended consequences:  Their new mascot, "The Rebel Black Bear," is overtly racist.  I mean, really -- why does it have to be a black bear?!?!  Why not a brown bear or a grizzly bear or a Polar Bear?!!?  There are statues of snowball-throwing Polar Bears all over northern Mississippi!  Remember?:

Even if the Rebel Bear isn't actually racist, it definitely has "issues."  It's at best a Metrosexual bear -- I mean, how many college mascots do you know that have a Betsy McCall-ish Paper Doll poster with different outfits for different occasions?  The ferocity factor of the Rebs just headed south in a steep dive, in my estimation.

What's next?  Will the "Hotty Toddy!" cheer devolve into, "Grrr!  Grrr!  Hotty Tee Hee?!?!"

They have a Rebel and now a Bear, two things which have no connectivity that I can discern.  I've never read about a pack of rebellious black bears tearing around the countryside on motorcycles or protesting en masse at a government building, have you?  Ole Miss is now challenging Auburn for the most confused mascot situation in the SEC.

Ferocious Fightin' Razorbacks v. Haute Couture Rebel Bears, October 23rd at 11:30.  At least our girl mascot is supposed to look like a girl.  Be there.

Tomorrow:  Hogs take on the Auburn Indecisive-Mascots (what do Tigers, Plainsmen, and War Eagle have to do with one another anyway?!?) at 2:30 on CBS.  Wooo Pig Soooiiieeee!!!!!!!!!!  Hogs have no identity crisis -- a Hog is a Hawg!


  1. a Hog is a long the pork doesn't offend any of the numerous groups it could possibly offend...I mean, it's not kosher, and it denotes a fat person...there's two right there. I can see a "study" and an "election" coming up on the Hill any day now in this CRAZY PC world...

  2. Nyuk! Good one, Moogie...the whole thing.

    I'm trying to think of who else uses a stinkin' bear as a mascot. All I can come up with off the top of my ailing head is Cal...nyuk! Cal...nyuk, nyuk, nyuk...

    I know that there are black bears in The Land of Opportunity, and here in The Bayou State, so there probably are some negro ones in MS, too.

    About 12 years ago, I was working in Oxford, and the big story back then was dropping the mascot, and the rebel flag. It seems that the Student Body President was all against it. And, he was a negro, too...

    Ole Miss sucks, and their fans are the suckiest in the land, too.

    Serves 'em right!

    So, y'all got Auburn war eagles/tiggers/plainswomen/whatever. Sigh.

    I finally get a Saturday off, and we get McNeese State. Seriously...the first whole game I could possibly watch is against McNeese? Well, at least we didn't load the cream puffs up at the top of the some others I can think of.



  3. Next, the name Ole Miss will be declared sexist, and replaced with Ole Ms.

  4. Shay! Shhh! Don't give the PC folks any ideas!

    Andy -- Cal. Heh. Sorry about the McNeese thing. It'll be a boring football night statewide.

    Good one, Rust! But, shhhh! Don't give 'em any ideas!

  5. Well... I thought the deepest South was relatively immune from PC-syndrome, which only goes to show how much I know... or don't know.

    But Hey! Shep Smith seemed enthused.

  6. Shepherd Smith gets enthused over extra beignets with his coffee. He's waaaaay too easy. And Metrosexual.

  7. Mississippi is full of sissy boys like Shep.

    Seriously, from the gay now Secretary of the Navy, to Trent Lott, etc.

    PC is a scourge on mankind. Actually, I don't care if Ole Miss has succumbed to it, because they suck. Ole Miss is the ONLY SEC team that I hope loses every non conference game.

    Because they suck. They are without a doubt the most insufferable bunch of jackasses in this nation...or any nation.

    One of Two Dogs' funniest posts ever was ranking the Top Ten Most Obnoxious Fans in the SEC. Ole Miss was number one. Flarda #2, and 3 - 10 was Ole Miss.


  8. He's waaaaay too easy.

    I'm thinkin' that was said at a LOT of sorority houses in Oxford back in the day.

    And apropos of nothing... Oxford. OXFORD! OXFORD??? Bwahwaahahaha!

  9. ## 3 - 10. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

    I'm leavin' the "houses" thing alone, Buck!

    Next up -- Age-ism allegations! So, looking at the totality of this thread, and considering that the word "bear" is too similar to "bare," a word to which young children should not be exposed for obvious reasons, the University of Mississippi should henceforth be known as Age-indeterminate Ms. Rebellious Metrosexual African-American Ursas. Whew! That's a mouthful.

  10. Yeah, Moogie! That was a mouthful, and WAY too much work to describe such a sucky bunch.

    Ursas: Nyuk! Definitely of the minor variety.


    Honestly, I look for a great rebellion from the alums, donors, etc. I think Smokey will stick around for about three weeks, and will end up in the trash bin of Ole Miss History...which is where ALL of Ole Miss History is kept, and rightly so.

    They suck! I'm not sure I've ever mentioned this before, but I really, truly despise Ole Miss.

    Really, I do.

  11. That's kinda the way I feel about Texas, Texas A & M, and Penn State.

    But, how do you really feel about Ole Miss?

  12. Seriously... can they not do better than that. The bear really does look lame. Sad about yesterday's Razorback game. Hoping that next week will be better!

  13. Hillcrest, to answer your question...

    NO! They can not do better. They are Ole Miss, and they suck. I'm surprised that they are that creative...I was figuring they'd come up with a Duck, or a Goose, maybe.

  14. Didn't anyone think of Kudzu?!?!

  15. Nyuk! The Ole Miss invasive weeds.