A True Halloween Scary Story

I'm living a Halloween spooky story.

For the last 3 days, a mockingbird has been perching on the burglar bars across our dining room window and pecking at the glass.  Tap.  Tap.  Tap.  Kinda like Poe's tell-tale heart. 

On Thursday, he tapped just during the morning hours, but yesterday he went at it most of the day, episodically.  I figured that he saw his reflection or something he liked in the dining room that appeared to be on the glass -- we do have quite a few decorations up, including giant spiders.

It has been kind of annoying -- the mockingbird likes to awaken and get busy tapping out his cadence a bit earlier than I would like.  On several occasions, a blue jay would light on the fence behind him and stare at him, cocking his head from side to side.  When I entered the dining room, the mockingbird would flutter off right away, but the jay would hang around a bit, giving me the eye.

This morning, the tapping grew louder.  When I went to see if he was doing anything differently, he wasn't at the dining room window but the tapping was still being pounded out.  I followed the sound, and there he was -- sitting on the outdoor kitchen window sill, tapping away.  He took off when he saw me.

Shortly thereafter I was sitting outside with the dogs when it hit me.

Have I ever mentioned that Moogie's Mansion is home to at least two ghosts?  Yeah.  It's a long story that I'll share someday, but we like our ghosts -- they protect us.  Usually.

Anyway, it hit me.

That bird must carry the spirit of someone who lived here long ago and might have a connection to get in.  Someone who really wants to come inside.  Someone who has a blue jay companion.

Well, now I'm bound and determined that Mr. Mockingbird must stay outside at all costs.  My Mama (who was just a titch superstitious) taught me long ago that a bird in the house is an omen portending a death in the family.  And the blue jay has long been known as a servant of the devil.  Put the two together, and you have the potential for some pretty unpleasant goings-on.

Did I mention that my niece and great-nephews were in a head-on collision Thursday morning on Highway 70 heading towards Hot Springs at just about the time that bird started tapping?  A collision that killed the other driver who crossed over the centerline and smashed full-speed into my niece's car?

My great-nephews suffered only minor air-curtain/seatbelt abrasions and my niece had successful surgery to repair her broken foot yesterday -- she should be released from the hospital tomorrow or Monday.  We are eternally grateful to the guardian angel who was riding shotgun beside her.

But, I'm telling you -- there is no way that bird is getting into my house.  Especially not before we get through All Saints Day on Monday.  I'm taping pictures of roasted birds onto the windows to scare the sucker off.

Pepper says it's a good thing I'm an old wife if I really believe this because it would make a great old wives' tale.

Me?  I'm just sayin' . . . .

A Halloween Scary!!!

AAAAGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

They're Ba-a-a-ck!

A movie company is filming in our neighborhood.  You might find that exciting, but it happens around here quite a bit and I just can't get too excited this time around.

There are trailers and caterers and buses and cherrypickers everywhere messing with traffic.  And the folks who work at Sophie Wright school parking spots have been displaced again.  Guess where they're parking?  Yep.  On our sidestreet, too close to the intersection.  And that leads to -- say it with me, now:

BLEEPIN' BEEPIN' BUS BACKING-UPPING.

I was in the yard with the dogs yesterday when the football players were heading back to school from practice and caught this moment on video to share with you --

Pleasant, huh?

No, no.  Don't thank me!  I'm an inclusive kind of gal -- don't want anyone to feel left out.

Examining the Inner Obama

I just totally do not "get" most of her fashion choices.  Perhaps they have no mirrors in the White House.

H/T Chicks on the Right.

But, this:

This is no mystery whatsoever.  That's precisely what he thinks of his constituents. 

Remember that.  And VOTE!

H/T Namaste

Richmond, Congressional Candidate From a Culture of Corruption

Let's chat about Cedric Richmond, Democratic candidate for the Second District of Louisiana Congressional seat currently held by Republican Anh "Joseph" Cao.

Cedric is an attorney (sort of) and a term-limited state Legislator whose antics give new meaning to the term "weasel."

Back in 2005, he thought it might be a lark to sit on the New Orleans City Council. So, he filled out his qualifying papers and declared an address that turned out not to be his "domicile." The Supreme Court was not amused and removed him from the ballot 8 days before the April 2005 election. Subsequently, in 2008, following an investigation into misconduct by the Louisiana Attorney Disciplinary Board, the Supreme Court suspended his law license for six months in a 5 -2 decision (one dissenter would've imposed a lengthier suspension) for falsifying an official document.   Charming.


In 2007, while serving in the Legislature, Richmond, while patronizing a pool hall in Baton Rouge, got into a bar brawl with another guy and was charged with misdemeanor disturbing the peace, with charges later dropped. The police report notes that "alcohol was a factor" in the fight over a pool table.   Dripping with class.


The State Board of Ethics has fined him $2,000 for failing to disclose within the appropriate time frame some legal work he did between 2004 and 2006 for absentee parents in adoptions. The guy is a lawyer and a legislator and he doesn't know when and which form to file? And he wants us to send him to Congress?!?!   Mensa candidate.


There are also some pretty serious, Jefferson-family-worthy allegations that Richmond solicited and steered substantial amounts of grant money intended for underprivileged kids to his main squeeze (who was later charged with felonious theft, but pleaded out to misdemeanor theft) and other diversions.   Soulless.

The injuring-kids scheme is the main issue that Cao's campaign seems to be hitting -- this arrived in the mailbox on Saturday.

I just cannot fathom why any thinking person could possibly cast a vote for this scum. Sure, he's rounded up the endorsements of a few local big-wig Dems and even the Young President filmed a commercial for him that ran during the Saints opener ("New Orleans needs Cedric Richmond in Congress, and so do I . . . ." -- as if that's not enough to tell you what Ced's made of!) .




But, consider this -- his closest competition in the primary (a rather earthy, brash young man) recently endorsed Cao! Also jumping across the aisle to endorse Cao and his unquestionable ethics are a New Orleans City Councilwoman, Orleans Parish Assessor, an Orleans Parish judge and the popular Sheriff of Jefferson Parish. Folks, this just doesn't happen to the Democratic party in a general election in Southeast Louisiana.


While I believe Cao to be a RINO, I can't begin to think about sending someone as corrupt as Richmond in Congress. There are other candidates in the race, but to call them longshots is masterful understatement. So, I suppose I shall hold my nose and vote for Cao. At least he responds to my emails, and is usually on point.

The DCCC has pulled its advertising money from this race -- speculation as to why ranges from "Richmond has it in the bag," to "we didn't vet him well enough and now need to leave him twisting in the wind."

This is getting really interesting.

Election Day -- D Minus 9!

Just a gentle reminder of what we need to do --

With thanks to Ray Stevens.

Lightning, and Hawgs, and Bears, Oh My!

That'll be a Wooo.  A Pig.  And a Sooooieeee.  Followed by a nap.

Geez -- a 5 + hour football game?

A Gentle Warning to LSU on College Gameday Eve

Watch your backs in Auburn!

Dog Trainer

No. Not in the manner you're thinking.

Bouie has a tendency to be a little over-the-top territorial when he's in the yard. He does the "I'm a big fierce black lab" routine pretty well when neighbors stroll past the fence. And he really goes nuts when someone attempts to put something in his yard or his mailbox (fortunately for the mailman -- and our homeowners' liability premiums -- the mailbox has a slot that is loaded from outside the fence).

I doubt whether he would really bite anyone -- he's actually just a big ol' coward when it comes to interacting with strangers -- but his "fierce act" has delivery guys pretty well buffaloed. And now he's taken it to a new level.

 He has trained the UPS guy to give him treats.

We regularly take delivery of shipments of wine that requires an adult signature. I know when to expect delivery because UPS does a robo-call telling me that "a delivery is coming tomorrow sometime between the hours of 8:00 a.m. and 6:00 p.m. that requires a signature." (Yeah -- that 's a pretty broad window, huh?) So, over a period of months, when I would go out to the gate to sign the electronic box-thingy and Bouie would be going nuts, the very nice delivery guy would talk to Bouie and get him to "sit" by offering him a Milk Bone (which he would then toss to him over the fence because, well, you know!).

Then, on a day without a scheduled delivery, I heard the UPS truck coming down the street and Bouie woofing like mad in the yard. I looked out the window and saw the driver tossing a Milk Bone to Bouie without really even coming to a complete stop!

Today we got an unexpected delivery while I was in the shower. I knew something was going on in the yard because Bouie was going nuts at the front door as I was getting dressed, so I looked out the window and saw a package.

When I went out to get it, this is what I saw --

Yep. My Dog is a Master Trainer!

And a real sweetheart.

Hummingbirds are SOOO Cool!

I saw this on Facebook.  I've only watched it about ninety-eleven times so far, and it mesmerizes me every single time and freezes my face in a smile.  Can you imagine?  The happy followup story is in the comments here.



Just.  Simply.  Wow.

Presented as a Service in the Effort Against Childhood Obesity

The Halloween Scene Around the Crescent City

Taken after a Sunday afternoon trip to Audubon Park with Bouie, these are just a few of the skeletons-out-of-the-closet on the front lawn of a beautiful St. Charles Avenue mansion, most labelled with some pretty punny names.  There's even a Red Skelton's Skeleton that I didn't photograph.  Click to enlarge.

The first shot is "the Thinker,"  "The Scream," and a Witch Trap.

Second is a pair of bony lovers sharing "The Kiss of Death."

Next is a typical NOLA politician.

And last is a Skeleton Crew engaged in a little fun and games.

I have a few other that didn't transfer from the iPhone.  I'll try to fix that.

Who says rich folks don't have a good sense of humor!

Gilbert & Sullivan Meet the Young President

Got this from Patriotic Resistance/Resistnet.  It's pretty clever, but pretty dang soft on him in the long run.


(P.S. -- we are not up to discussing the Arkansas-Auburn game, unless it's in the vein of fining some officials.  Or some defensive coordinators.)

Farewell to Colonel Reb, Hello Sissy Bear

Poor Ole Miss.  It looks as if they have taken leave of their collective senses.  I knew it would happen as soon as I learned they were conducting a "study" and an "election" to replace the venerable "Colonel Reb" mascot -- the very embodiment of landed, Southern gentry who were capable both of great gentility and defending their own.  Too many people apparently made a strained connection among the Colonel, Segregation, and Slavery.

So, PC finally won, but in the process, it has raised a couple of unintended consequences:  Their new mascot, "The Rebel Black Bear," is overtly racist.  I mean, really -- why does it have to be a black bear?!?!  Why not a brown bear or a grizzly bear or a Polar Bear?!!?  There are statues of snowball-throwing Polar Bears all over northern Mississippi!  Remember?:

Even if the Rebel Bear isn't actually racist, it definitely has "issues."  It's at best a Metrosexual bear -- I mean, how many college mascots do you know that have a Betsy McCall-ish Paper Doll poster with different outfits for different occasions?  The ferocity factor of the Rebs just headed south in a steep dive, in my estimation.

What's next?  Will the "Hotty Toddy!" cheer devolve into, "Grrr!  Grrr!  Hotty Tee Hee?!?!"

They have a Rebel and now a Bear, two things which have no connectivity that I can discern.  I've never read about a pack of rebellious black bears tearing around the countryside on motorcycles or protesting en masse at a government building, have you?  Ole Miss is now challenging Auburn for the most confused mascot situation in the SEC.

Ferocious Fightin' Razorbacks v. Haute Couture Rebel Bears, October 23rd at 11:30.  At least our girl mascot is supposed to look like a girl.  Be there.

Tomorrow:  Hogs take on the Auburn Indecisive-Mascots (what do Tigers, Plainsmen, and War Eagle have to do with one another anyway?!?) at 2:30 on CBS.  Wooo Pig Soooiiieeee!!!!!!!!!!  Hogs have no identity crisis -- a Hog is a Hawg!

Gratuitous Stolen Canine Video Re-posted to Drive Traffic

Some days there is just nuthin' better than posting stolen video.  Especially video of a yellow lab haulin' in a big ol' fish!



Good boy!

Stolen from Blood, Dirt, and Angels.

Focus on the Green Goal

Stay on message.  Kick the bums out.  A Pelosi-less Congress is a happy Congress.  Do it for the environment!

Available here.

Good Times in the Big Easy

Sunday was definitely an interesting day.  Football (which we shall not discuss, thank you very much), brunch with friends, the Blues Festival down the street.

And then, there was this:

As I was heading home after brunch, I saw blue lights at the intersection ahead, and before I could turn around to detour around it, here came a parade!  Floats, princesses, brass bands and all.  At first I was hoping that it was just an ordinary Sunday afternoon Second Line (because they usually don't take too long to pass), but, noooo. 

Yesterday's paper had a few pics and reported that I had experienced the Original Prince of Wales Social Aid and Pleasure Club celebrating 82 years of history, rolling up Magazine and turning onto Louisiana.  And it took the route that I had planned to take home to avoid the blues festival-blocked Napoleon.

Some days, you can't swing a cat in this city without hitting a parade.

Sunday Funday

Busy, busy day yesterday!  All kinds of interesting football (Woo Pig Sooooieee!  Please stop trying to give me a stroke at game's end!) and our friend's Second Annual Spooktoberfest!  I went dressed as "Deer in the Headlights" and Pepper went as "Deerstalker."  (But, I got to wear the orange vest.)  I didn't win the Punkin' Chunkin' Contest, Ladies' Division, with my bridal bouquet technique, but we wowed 'em at Karaoke.  Sort of.

Today sees brunch with out-of-town friends, a little Blues Festival to benefit the Second District NOPD HQ, and SAINTS, Baby!

I think I need a nap.

Today's foolishness (although this does look like a reasoned, governmental method to spend some of the stimulus money -- apologies to Inno!)

Thieves Who Aren't Tooo Greedy and, at Long Last, a Nobel for China

Quote of the Day -- U.S. Attorney Jim Letten, in response to an observation by defense counsel that the defendant stole only close to $1M from the Housing Authority of New Orleans (where he was CFO for three years) when he had the opportunity to abscond with so much more, remarked:

"I'm not ready to pin any medals on anyone for stealing less than he could have."

The judge was also less than impressed by the defendant's restraint of his larcenous tendencies.  Let's keep that in mind when Charlie Rangel and Maxine Waters come up for trial in the House next month.

Nobel Peace Prize -- and the winner is . . . Liu Xiaobo, a Chinese dissident and campaigner for democracy imprisoned for the crime of subversion! 

The Chinese government was not pleased.  The AP reported:

"Anticipating the award, Chinese circumvented Internet controls and called friends overseas to learn the news. Supporters and friends gathered outside Liu's central Beijing apartment, where his wife was kept inside by police. At a park, a civil rights lawyer, a retired official-turned-blogger and a dozen other people cheered and waved placards saying "Long Live Freedom of Speech." The demonstrators were later taken away by police."

President Obama observed:

"Last year, I noted that so many others who have received the award had sacrificed so much more than I."

Well, that's a big ol' Duh.

The young president also:

"[P]raised China for its stunning 30 years of transformative economic growth. 'But this award reminds us that political reform has not kept pace, and that the basic human rights of every man, woman and child must be respected,' Obama said. [emphasis mine]

Hmmm. Political reform.  Isn't that essentially the same thing as fundamental transformation? Maybe the young president's gentle chiding was simply a wink-wink, nudge-nudge, high-five between comrades. 

When the young president has accomplished his transformative policies and commandeered all facets of the economy, maybe we here in the good ol' U. S. of A. can see our internet shut down, spouses put under house arrest, and demonstrators for Freedom of Speech hauled off by the police, too!

At least the Nobel judges bestowed the award this year to someone who had actually done something to promote peaceful existence instead of to someone who could maybe do something in the future.

All Hail the Railroad Board!

New Orleans has a Public Belt Railroad that services the Port and surrounding area -- an interesting little entity that owns several meticulously restored luxury Pullman cars, in addition to other rolling stock and miles of track.  It has an independent Board of Directors that nearly bankrupted the Belt recently through fraud by the General Manager and benign neglect by Board members.  Hence, the Mayor requested all members to resign and today presented his slate of nominees to replace them.

The newspaper coverage reported their names and positions -- they are pretty much your typical university and business folk, with a notable exception.  The Times-Picayune reports:

[The] nine nominees to the Public Belt Railroad Commission include three university presidents, a former mayor and the 2010 king of Carnival.

Yep -- you read that correctly.  Rex, King of Carnival, will serve on the Board of the Public Belt.

Only in New Orleans.

The Race for Louisiana's Second Congressional District: A Teaser

At some point, soon, we're going to have a little chat about Cedric Richmond.  He's the Democratic candidate for the Second District congressional seat in Louisiana currently held by first-termer Republican (RINO-ish) Anh "Joseph" Cao.

This is the seat formerly held by jailbird William "Dollar Bill" Jefferson, whom you might recall as the custodian of  $90K in "cold cash" in his freezer.  Cash which was nominally intended to bribe some folks in Nigeria, and the exchange of which had been caught on video by the FBI.

The esteemed Mr. Richmond is the product of the New Orleans Culture of Corruption, and is the protege of some seriously flawed muckety-mucks of that particular culture.  He might be young, but he has a record of ethics violations and sleazy behavior that would befit a man many years his senior.

And, just guess who has endorsed his candidacy?  Can't guess?  Here's a hint:

Oh yeah.  The Young President has definitely elevated my opinion of him with this endorsement.

Ick.  Slimy.

From the Mouths of Babes

Stolen from a Facebook friend:

I recently asked my friend's little girl what she wanted to be when she grows up. She said she wanted to be President some day.


Both of her parents, being liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, "If you were the President, what would be the first thing you would do?"

She said, "I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people."

Her parents beamed with pride.

"What a worthy goal," I told her. "But you don't have to wait until you're the President to help the homeless. You can come over to my house and mow my lawn, pull weeds, and sweep my yard. I'll pay you $50.00, and then I'll take you over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $50.00 to use toward food and a new house."

She thought that over for a few seconds, and then looked me straight in the eye and said, "Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and do the work? You can just pay him the $50.00."

Her parents still aren't speaking to me.

Reminds me of the first time our daughters looked at the deductions on their paychecks for parttime jobs when they were teenagers and immediately got furious with Uncle Sam, the Governor, and Mssrs. FICA and Medicare. 

I think the guys who would do away with payroll deductions and require individual taxpayers to cut a check to the various government entities each month -- or, better yet, quarterly -- have a good idea.  The reality of how much we "contribute" to government and all its "programs" might become a little more clear.

Word Games

I got this in an email today and it's too good not to share!  Double entendre warning!

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again
invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by
adding,  subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new
definition.

        Here are the winners:     

        1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which
renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of
time.
        2. Ignoranus : A person who's both stupid and an
asshole.
       3. Intaxicaton : Euphoria at getting a tax refund,
which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
        4. Reintarnation : Coming back to life as a  hillbilly.
        5. Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid
people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer,
unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
        6. Foreploy : Any misrepresentation about yourself for
the purpose of getting laid.
        7... Giraffiti : Vandalism spray-painted very, very
high
        8. Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic
wit and the person who doesn't get it.
        9. Inoculatte : To take coffee intravenously when you
are running late.
        10. Osteopornosis : A degenerate disease. (This one got
extra credit.)
        11. Karmageddon : It's like, when everybody is sending
off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth
explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
        12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting
through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
        13. Glibido : All talk and no action.
        14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to
seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
        15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed
just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
        16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito,
that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast
out.
        17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding
half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

       

        The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.

        And the winners are:


        1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.
        2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much
weight one has gained.
        3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a
flat stomach.
        4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.
        5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.
        6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door
when wearing only a nightgown.
        7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.
        8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.
        9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up
someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
        10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.
        11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.
        12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted
by proctologists.
        13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.
        14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation
with Yiddishisms.
        15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death,
the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
        16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer
shorts worn by Jewish men

October Observations

The festive holiday season begins with October!  It's Squirrel Awareness Month!

I'm very aware of squirrels, both the four-and two-legged varieties.  They all abound here in southeast Louisiana.  Many of them hold office, many of them hoard nuts.  Take your pick.

It's also Breast Cancer Awareness Month.  Schedule those mammograms! 

(As an aside, one of the post-game guests on the local radio broadcast of today's Saints VICTORY was trying to drum up some support for the Komen Race For the Cure and referred to October as "Breast Awareness Month.")

I gotta ask: Just in October?

Inter-Game Interlude

Took Bouie to the park to run and run and run.  I didn't let him swim because I'm not comfortable with reptilian things that might be near and/or in the pond.

Also went to vote at Sophie Wright.  Yeah, I know.  We vote on Saturday in Louisiana.  Here are the buses at rest.  Quiet rest!

Looking forward to the 'Bama - Florida game.  After cocktail hour!

A Peaceful College Gameday

This is what it feels like to have a bye weekend in Week 5 after a downer of a weekend in Week 4:

Nonetheless, so as not to disappoint -- WOOOOO PIG SOOOOIIIIEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cocktails to follow.

A Simile Says it All

A little something for your "I want that!" list.