Saturday, October 22, 2011

Perhaps They Should Bring Back the Colonel . . .

Well, it wasn't exactly the prettiest victory I've ever seen, but it counts.  Razorbacks 29 - Ole Miss Something-or-others 24, in Oxford!

(As noted in the Comments on last year's post about this rivalry, Moogie determined that the Politically Correct version of the University of Mississippi's new mascot is Age-indeterminate Ms. Rebellious Metrosexual African-American Ursas.  Politically Correct is as Politically Correct does, after all.)

Speaking of last year's post, I think a liuttle re-run is warranted by virtue of today's Razorback victory, to-wit:

Farewell to Colonel Reb, Hello Sissy Bear

Poor Ole Miss. It looks as if they have taken leave of their collective senses. I knew it would happen as soon as I learned they were conducting a "study" and an "election" to replace the venerable "Colonel Reb" mascot -- the very embodiment of landed, Southern gentry who were capable both of great gentility and defending their own. Too many people apparently made a strained connection among the Colonel, Segregation, and Slavery.

So, PC finally won, but in the process, it has raised a couple of unintended consequences: Their new mascot, "The Rebel Black Bear," is overtly racist. I mean, really -- why does it have to be a black bear?!?! Why not a brown bear or a grizzly bear or a Polar Bear?!!? There are statues of snowball-throwing Polar Bears all over northern Mississippi!

Even if the Rebel Bear isn't actually racist, it definitely has "issues." It's at best a Metrosexual bear -- I mean, how many college mascots do you know that have a Betsy McCall-ish Paper Doll poster with different outfits for different occasions? The ferocity factor of the Rebs just headed south in a steep dive, in my estimation.

What's next? Will the "Hotty Toddy!" cheer devolve into, "Grrr! Grrr! Hotty Tee-Hee?!?!"

They have a Rebel and now a Bear, two things which have no connectivity that I can discern. I've never read about a pack of rebellious black bears tearing around the countryside on motorcycles or protesting en masse at a government building, have you? Ole Miss is now challenging Auburn for the most confused mascot situation in the SEC.

Ferocious Fightin' Razorbacks v. Haute Couture Rebel Bears, October 23rd at 11:30. At least our girl mascot is supposed to look like a girl. Be there.

Tomorrow: Hogs take on the Auburn Indecisive-Mascots (what do Tigers, Plainsmen, and War Eagle have to do with one another anyway?!?) at 2:30 on CBS. Wooo Pig Soooiiieeee!!!!!!!!!! Hogs have no identity crisis -- a Hog is a Hawg!
I know!  The Rebellious Ursas must be in solidarity with Occupy Wall Street! 
That explains a lot of things.


  1. I actually had the perfect mascot for them, but they turned my idea down.

    It was the "Panty-Wearing-Booty-Boy-Klan."

  2. Moogie, I honestly thought y'all were gonna let the miserable Klan beat y'all. I swear...the very worst team in the history of the SEC, and y'all should have dominated them like nobody's business.

    Y'all gonna have to do better...

    But, congrats on a win anyway. It would be just friggin' misrable! I swear, I don't mind if we lose to 'Bama...or even go your Hawgz. But, if we lose to the Klan (or even let 'em get close), I shall be shamed.

  3. I blame Bush... err... Shep Smith for the mascot debacle. I KNOW he had a hand in that, somehow. I mean: metrosexual and all. HAD to be.

    (Did I say that last year? No link...)

  4. Paul -- they chose to go with a deeper degree of subtlety than the panty-wearing-booty-boy part. The Klan is passe, doncha know.

    Andy -- no kidding. Seriously, no kidding. I had to send Pepper out of the room during the first half because that throbbing vein on his temple was just about to explode! With the size and aggressiveness of the Tiggers' lines, I expect they could say Boo and the Panty-Wearers should turn booty and run!

    Cuz -- Soooieeee!

    Buck -- the link is there. At least I can see and use it. Maybe I'm magic. And, yes, we did get into a discussion about Mr. Smith last year. It's still applicable today!