Word Games

I got this in an email today and it's too good not to share!  Double entendre warning!

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again
invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by
adding,  subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new
definition.

        Here are the winners:     

        1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which
renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of
time.
        2. Ignoranus : A person who's both stupid and an
asshole.
       3. Intaxicaton : Euphoria at getting a tax refund,
which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
        4. Reintarnation : Coming back to life as a  hillbilly.
        5. Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid
people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer,
unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
        6. Foreploy : Any misrepresentation about yourself for
the purpose of getting laid.
        7... Giraffiti : Vandalism spray-painted very, very
high
        8. Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic
wit and the person who doesn't get it.
        9. Inoculatte : To take coffee intravenously when you
are running late.
        10. Osteopornosis : A degenerate disease. (This one got
extra credit.)
        11. Karmageddon : It's like, when everybody is sending
off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth
explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
        12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting
through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
        13. Glibido : All talk and no action.
        14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to
seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
        15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed
just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
        16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito,
that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast
out.
        17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding
half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

       

        The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.

        And the winners are:


        1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.
        2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much
weight one has gained.
        3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a
flat stomach.
        4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.
        5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.
        6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door
when wearing only a nightgown.
        7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.
        8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.
        9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up
someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
        10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.
        11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.
        12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted
by proctologists.
        13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.
        14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation
with Yiddishisms.
        15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death,
the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
        16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer
shorts worn by Jewish men