Chalk One Up for the Good Guys

Early Wednesday morning in New Orleans East an armed man entered a gas station and demanded money from the clerk and a customer. That was his first mistake.

The customer, not taking kindly to being strong-armed, followed the thug out of the store. Thug fired at customer (his second mistake); customer fired back, hitting thug in the hip!

Thug remains hospitalized and will be charged upon his release.

Sometimes we all need a little good news.

Can We Say, "Overkill?"

The opening paragraph of an article in today's  Arkansas Democrat-Gazette reads:

Police arrested a 52-year-old man Wednesday who was trying to hold up a bank branch using a small cannon-shaped figurine.

The article goes on to describe how the man placed the figurine on the branch manager's desk in Fort Smith and belligerently demanded "thousands of dollars."  The manager was able to set off the bank's alarm and police were soon on the scene.  They arrested the man and charged him with disorderly conduct, public intoxication (surprise!), and attempted aggravated robbery.

Wait. What?

Aggravated felonies contemplate the use of some sort of deadly weapon.  The Wiki says, "aggravated robbery involv[es] use of a deadly weapon or something that appears to be a deadly weapon."

Not that I'm advocating bank robbery or anything, but classifying what occurred in Fort Smith as aggravated anything seems a bit over the top.  And I understand that society is growing way too Second Amendment-phobic, and kids get suspended from school for drawing pictures of guns, but seriously?  The guy was soused!  I doubt one can even form the requisite scienter when he is that plowed.  

I'd better go tell Pepper he needs to file for a permit for that model cannon that was given to him by the Field Artillery battalion when he left command of the 39th. We wouldn't want him to get thrown in the hoosegow for possession of an unregistered decorative item.

Have we arrived at a point in history where we must register scary tchotchkes?

I'd say that very idea is scary enough.

From Today's Inbox -- Explosive!

A fellow concealed carry permit holder sent this to me today -- I dare you to watch it without smiling and cheering.



See what I mean? 

One small thing, however -- I think Grandpa needs a little time at the range.  Aim for the core!

And someone needs to tell the woman holding her hands over her ears that she should not wander into the line of fire.

I hope the thugs broke their front teeth when they hit the deck while trying to escape. 

From the Inbox -- in the "Only in New Orleans" Folder

In today's email blast from the New Orleans Police Department:

On 07-04-12 at about 4:10am an alarm went off at the Audubon Zoo Swamp Gift Shop. While conducting their morning rounds at about 7:30am, Audubon Security observed pry marks to one of the gift shop doors, and a broken window pane near the bottom door latch. A check of the location revealed 10 baby alligators to be missing from the tank within the gift shop. On 07-05-12 Sixth District Officers responded to a call of 8 baby alligators abandoned in a plastic storage bin at the corner of Surrapru and Russeau St. Upon arrival zoo personnel were able to identify the alligators as the same animals taken from the gift shop. A witness was able to provide a description of the vehicle which had dropped the alligators off at the intersection, and then fled the scene. On the same evening, JPSO Deputies stopped a stolen vehicle, which was positively identified via photograph by the witness as the same which had dropped off the alligators. JPSO Deputies made and apprehension, and while conducting a check of the vehicle, located 1 baby alligator inside the vehicle. The witness was able to identify Thornton, Rodney (B/M 07-15-82) and one Powell, Kawayne (B/M 01-31-92) as having been the subjects who placed the alligators in her front yard, prior to her moving them out to the street and notifying the police. A warrant was issued on 07-09-12 for the arrest of both Thornton and Powell charging them with La. R.S. 14:69 Relative to Possession of Stolen Property.

Thank goodness for stupid criminals. Can't you just picture them, sitting out on the front stoop, having a beer, and chillin' when one of them says, "Hey, I've got an idea . . . ."