The Monday After Easter

Happy Day after Easter! Easter, the most blessed and joyous observation in Christianity. A day spent rejoicing in our Savior's sacrifice, made so that we foolish and wicked humans may have eternal life.

And the day after that Holiest of days, when the Capitol and White House are on lock-down because of shots fired. One in custody, one Capitol police officer with non-life-threatening injuries. Sheesh.

On a more irreverent note, does anyone else find it deliciously ironic that Ivanka Trump gave birth to a baby boy and named him Ted?

Sorry. Couldn't resist.  The snark is weak.

And, I'm publishing the iconic Bouie Cottontail, one last time. I need to find some new bunny ears so I can embarrass the girl dogs in the future.

There's a Whole Lot of Back-scratching Going on in DC

Lest you think that government entities don't "talk" to one another out of some misguided desire to maintain citizens' privacy, allow me to share this little tidbit and disabuse you of that Utopian notion.

Pepper and I are doing a re-fi on Moogie's Manor. Our lender set it up to qualify to run through Fannie Mae (and Fannie Mae is not even a real federal government entity, you understand) for secondary market purposes. To make her happy and feed her enormous ego, one must submit some thirty-odd pages of Application to Miss Mae, including one's most recent tax return.

Here's where it starts getting a little complicated.

Due to some investments and partnerships, we always get an extension to file our 1040s until October. This means the last Returns we have on hand at present are for 2012. Not 2013. Fannie Mae was not happy about this. Even though she has nothing to do with collecting taxes, she wanted to talk to her buddies over at the IRS to be sure we had filed an actual Extension and weren't just slacking and failing to file. She scratches her IRS-Bud's back and they scratch something of hers. I mean, the revenue we pump into the IRS is shared by the whole government, right?

Anyway, there's some silly federal rule designed to protect the privacy of we insignificant citizens, and Fannie Mae isn't permitted to talk to Internal Revenue without the citizen's permission. So, she has a handy-dandy form that the citizen "may" sign that says, in essence, "Sure! You gubmint guys chat about me and share anything about me with one another that your nosy little bureaucratic hearts desire! Live it up!"

Let's stop here briefly to reflect upon the fact that Fannie Mae has nothing to do with collecting or disbursing or determining the amount of taxes that anyone pays. Let's further reflect upon the fact that whether you file your tax returns has nothing to do with whether you can re-pay a loan.

Then let's think about the fact that your loan application will be peremptorily rejected if you refuse to authorize Miss Mae to snoop into your IRS records to satisfy her overactive curiosity and/or to give her ammunition to rat your slacking butt out to the IRS. Even though she has zero to do with taxes!

Did we sign it? Well, duh. (But only after a colorful rant about crony government and Big Brother by my roommate.) Just don't let yourself be fooled into believing that there's a functional firewall among government entities that protects we, the people.

And do not get Pepper started on Fannie Mae. He's been mumbling something about a class action lawsuit.

Sage Advice

Dog Days heat has snuck up on us. Mid-90s with heat indices in the 105 range. That makes my brain go into sleep mode.

I can't think about the wave of  "migrants" poised at the border. I can't think about Lois Lerner skulking around DC, dodging a Contempt of Congress arrest warrant. I can't think about that guy who occupies 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. I can't think about the impending robo-call onslaught that's getting ready to crank up for the mid-term elections. I can't think about the colossal number of days we have left before football season. I'm glad I don't have to think about World Cup soccer anymore for four years (seriously, have you ever seen a wienier trophy?). I can't think about Mysti maybe being expecting. I can't think about having to squeeze into a swimsuit next week.

So, I guess I'll just post something amusing that I stole from Facebook:

Heh.

Post-election Fatigue

Tuesday was Primary election day in Arkansas. The ads were flying fast and furiously. Some were amusing, some were tacky. But, there were a boatload of them and we got really tired of them.

I mean really tired!

So, in an effort to curb campaign spending, (and in a bigger effort to effect a de facto enactment of term limits) I'm dragging out my old Plan to re-vamp how folks get sent to DC to run (and ruin) our lives:

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 8, 2009

Moogie's Fun and Revolutionary Plan for Public Service Reform in D.C.

In a moment of blinding clarity, I have stumbled upon what could be the salvation of our nation and our Republic.

We have to chunk out our system of federal elections and start over from scratch.

The states may continue to do whatever they please for intra-state elections pursuant to the Tenth Amendment, and that'll get the Feds off their backs for a whole lot of stuff, primarily because the Feds will have been forced to acknowledge and abide by the Tenth Amendment. If folks don't like what policies their state is enacting in connection with a particular issue, like, say, same-sex marriage, then they are free either to try to effect change in their state through legislation or move to another state whose laws more closely reflect their beliefs. Hello, Republic! A confederation of independent states who are free to follow the will of their citizens, not the sometime-well-intentioned-but-often-cuckoo citizens of Soviet Socialist Massachusetts or Pelosi-world.

You may not be aware of the fact that I was -- fairly recently -- a strong opponent of term limits. I believed institutional memory to be a very important component of orderly government -- we shouldn't have to re-invent the wheel time after time after time simply because no one was in Congress or the Governor's mansion who could remember what happened the last time someone came up with the same boneheaded idea, or how badly its implementation failed. Today, I simply don't care. There are too many boneheaded ideas floating around this ol' world to prevent their redundancy, so opposing term limits is no longer on my radar.

The notion of needing to devise some reasonable facsimile of term limits brought me to the election of our Republics' representatives in D.C. -- so, let's just get all Constitutional about it and return to the Founding Fathers' notion of true "public servants" in which people are called to serve their fellow citizens for a brief amount of time, not to make a career of meddling in the lives of every citizen.

We can retain the Constitutional requirements for eligibility to serve (e.g., age, natural-born citizenship, residency) -- they're pretty sensible. But as for the actual "election" -- there will be no further federal elections.

We're going to have a National Public Service Lottery.

Every eligible U.S. voter (eligibility to be determined by each state) will be required to purchase two lottery tickets: one each in the POTUS/VPOTUS Scratch-off in which only two tickets have all the magic numbers (indexed to population or voter registration; details and cost to be worked out later), but the Presidential Powerball Number on one ticket wins the White House and the runner-up moves into One Observatory Circle at the U.S. Naval Observatory as VPOTUS, both for the Constitutional term of four years. No one may win the POTUS/VPOTUS Scratch-off more than two terms in a row.

Additionally, the eligible voters of each state and territory will be required to purchase similar lottery tickets for Senator (lotteries to be staggered to accommodate rotating 6-year terms) and Representative: one winner per slot per state.

Of course, we'd have to do away with the Electoral College and replace it with a Commission of Electoral Inspection to determine the qualifications and eligibility of winners. The Commission could be composed of 3 members (to have a tie-breaker), appointed, one apiece, by the President, The Senate, and the House of Representatives. Vacancies occurring in Congressional office could be filled by vote of the vacant office's State Senate; presidential succession would be in effect until the following lottery.

Would there be a chance for cheating or corruption? Of course. Is there now?!?! (Hello, ACORN.) Would some mind-numbingly unqualified folks win the Public Service Lottery? Um, duh -- but what's the difference between that and the current system?

Could the loss of institutional memory be regretted, especially in the House of Representatives? Most probably. But, tinkering with the details could find a reasonable compromise to extend and rotate terms in the House, so let's not throw this idea out without trying it.

It's fun! It's a revenue generator! It's a regular fruit-basket turnover in D.C.!! It's Moogie's Revolutionary Plan for Public Service Reform in D.C.!

I've given you the bones -- now, hammer out the details.

It could work. And there would be no ads or robocalls! Someone needs to bust out some Petitions.

You Know How to Whistle, Don't You? (Updated and Fixed!)

Posting on the iPhone in the car on the way home after a wonderful, jam-packed week in New Orleans, so there may be some interesting spellings. And, I'm pretty worn out, so expect random blatherings. Disclaimer complete. (Fixed!)

During a dinner conversation with some of our delightful hosts, a childhood memory escaped from its drawer in my head and made its presence known:

When I was in elementary school, my Daddy owned a 1/3 interest (together with other Korean War vets) in a pontoon party barge on Lake Maumelle just outside Little Rock. We spent many happy times aboard, tooling around the lake, occasionally getting a fishing line wet. The boat was christened the "FUBAR Maru." I was well into adulthood before I learned the acronym doesn't stand for "FOULED Up Beyond All Recognition."

Yeah, Moogie led a pretty sheltered childhood.

Today, with all of the hullabaloo going on in Ukraine, together with all the impotent, indecisive inaction going on in DC, as a scales-fallen-from-the-eyes adult, I can without doubt or hesitation, assert that the acronym most definitely fits hand-in-glove with the Obama administration.

And it's only getting worse.

IRS scapegoat chick, Lois Lerner, repeatedly invoked the Fifth Amendment in this morning's Congressional hearing concerning the IRS's targeting and unequal treatment of conservative groups seeking 501(C)(4) status.

Nothing suspicious there.

But . . . I'm just the tiniest bit hopeful that a breeze is building and heading toward the Obama FUBAR House of Cards.  So, let's all pucker up and blow!